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And for the life of me, I can't figure out if that's perfectly typical, or wonderfully sad.
- Mood:
contemplative
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunshine on ripening grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
I can't remember who wrote this poem, but it puts into words my beliefs of what happens to the soul when the body dies. This is for my mother, who never got over loosing her mother.
- Location:Machba
- Mood:
listless - Music:None
Dear Me,
And what a twisted path it is. It is frought with doubt born from sense and reason. Logic hides in the foilage on all sides, waiting to jump out and scare gumption out of you. Reason slides in behind the first fright, whispering softly, explaining to you in calm, even tones excatly why this is on of those 'bad ideas' that your mother told you about. It's a passing fancy, a fleeting dream. It's something that will be gone by the morrow. It will scatter like shadows at dawn. You'll wake up, get dressed and forget this plesent dream. That's what reason tells you. Sense is right by his side, smiling a comforting smile, telling you by gaze alone that she doens't blame you for falling victim to a flickering hope. It happens to the best of us, she'll say. And you'll believe her.
And you'll believe them all.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
And when they realize that the dream isn't fleeing. But rather than it holds up in the light of the brightest days. That it flourishes, rather than weakens. That it grows, and grows and grows, until idle thought is occupied in plots, day dreams, plans. Then, logic jumps you again. It holds you down and forces your ears open to reason and sense. Okay, they say. Okay, a dream this is not. A hobby then. But rest assured, the moment you make it a job, a goal, your passion will wane. Your imagination will dry. Your words will desert you. You can force creativity after all, can you? So you best just let it be a hobby, an idle passing of time. Something to occupy your mind while you wearily walk through the motions of life. Something to entertain you while you wait for life to start.
And it makes sense. That's the point. So you listen, you believe.
Again.
Again.
Again.
You repeat the excuses aloud, until they are so automatic you don't think about them anymore. Until you forget that there's an alternative.
But hear me.
You are still walking this path. Logic, sense and reason have all tried everything to make you turn back, to make you choose another. And yet, here you still stand. Is it perhaps because you know something about yourself that reason can't touch? Can't understand?
Is it because, in the deepest parts of yourself, you can feel something that wants out. Something that wants this way out.
A story.
You have a story to tell.
So put that pen to the page. Shake off logic's hands, reason's claws, and sense's smiles. Push them out of your way. Keep walking. Keep talking.
Open your mouth through your pen, and speak your story.
No one can tell it but you.
Sincerely,
your inner author.
- Location:Ukdah
- Mood: contemplative
- Music:None
1)Where did you get the shirt your wearing?
wal-mart (it was on sale too!)
2) Who do you currently like?
heh...no comment
3) Who is your last myspace message from?
i managed to avoid that craze...
4) Sunrise or Sunset?
Sunset. i manage to avoid the former like the plauge
5) What time did you go to sleep last night?
1am. i was reading
6) Time you woke up?
10. japanese class...
7) What movie is in your DVD player?
none, its a mixed CD my strings teacher made for me back in high school.
8) When's your birthday?
TODAY!!!
9) Last thing that pissed you off?
my poli sci teacher refusing point blank to even CONSIDER letting me take my final early.
10) Are you cocky?
I hope not. i find people like unbearable. it would suck if i found myself to be unbearable.
11) Can you speak French?
non palvous frances
12) Have you ever been to Mexico?
nope. will soon though
13) Do you make your bed daily?
Ha! that's funny.
14) Your favorite movie?
don't have one at the moment.
18) Boxers or briefs?
boxers. they're more breezy.
19) Is there a TV in your bedroom?
yep
20) How many piercings do you have?
two. well, one in each ear.
23) Your own personal pets?
yes, two fish, zubenelgenubi and betelguese
23) Your best friend(s)?
Laki, Ann-chan, H5, Pookie, and Jenny
24) Last two numbers in your phone number?
23
25. Who was the last person you called?
paul, AKA Laki
26) Where are your parents from?
Mom is fron TN state. Dad's from Tokyo
27) Are you Irish?
uh...maybe? family's still working on that geneology chart
28) Can you roll your tongue?
yes
29) Who was the last person to call you?
paul
30) Best fast food french fries?
hmmm...good question. arby's curly fries always manage to make my day.
32) How was your day?
busy
33) Have you ever eaten at T.G.I Friday's?
uh...yea....
34) Can you skateboard?
that's cute, ask another.
35) How about play an instrument?
yes. that i can do! (violin, and some piano)
36) How much money do you have on you right now?
.17 cents
37) Song you're listening to right now?
no music on. well, unless you count the filter for my fish tank.
38) Who's in your house?
me, and my roommates.
39) What are you doing today?
avoiding studying for my religion quiz. and reading...alot
40) Is your window open?
yes acctually. it was a beautiful day today.
41) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
its a tiny ass dorm bed. i just wedge myself up there every night and pray to god i don't fall off.
42) Who was the last person on your bed other than you?
person's unknown. its a dorm bed.
43) Can you think of anyone special you want in your bed?
uh...i'm going to stick with a no comment...
44) Your favorite season?
fall.
45) Car you drive?
yes. and on occasion, poorly.
49) Favorite food?
right now? i would kill for some decent inari zushi.
50) Something you're looking forward in the next month?
halloween! and my cousin's b-day!
51) Have you ever been to an art museum?
quite a few
52) Do you like Mexican food?
yeppers! (runs off to la ha resturant)
52) Papa John's or Domino's?
the latter
53) When's the last time you showered?
about 24 hours ago
54) What's your pants look like?
jeans. just...jeans.
55) Favorite show to watch?
CSI, the closer, house, bones, some of the law and order, but i have to be in the mood, and never seen the episode before
57) Have you ever seen/watched Aqua Team Hunger Force?
is that that show that comes on late adult swim with the wired talking fast food products? if so, hell no. and don't plan on it either.
58) Favorite current song?
(shrug) maybe...learn to fly by carbon leaf.
- Location:Sualocin
- Mood:
crazy - Music:None
